Cancer: The Gift That Keeps On Giving

As a GenX'er who grew up at a time when "Walk It Off" and "Get Over It" were common sentiments in the face of dealing with cancer, the apathy of others (whether intentional or often well-meaning but unintentional) continues to baffle unsurprisingly.

I remember back in 1996, cancer was still a whisper campaign, and I was considered contagious ignorantly analogous to the HIV epidemic.

We were victims by default, destined for death. Hater culture was 20 years out, so stigma was anthropologically different. I was terrified to tell anyone outside of family and extremely close friends I was sick. There was no ownership. We were locked in different closets.

Back at the dawn of the Internet, at Stupid Cancer, we talked a lot about owning your "social footprint" and whether you should choose to share your journey at work, in your social life, or publicly online. Patients were forewarned as to the unpredictable reaction of others, which was tame by comparison to the wretched and deep-seated troll culture of today.

The perception or expectation of vulnerability from public disclosure lives only in the mind's eye of those who choose to disclose. We live in a culture of virulent antipathy and callous competitive indifference with a hint of transference for their inadequacies. Awareness of the risks and rewards of public disclosure should empower patients to own their choices and be prepared for the best and worst of humanity.

I often return to one of the more pertinent quotes from Lance Armstrong, "Cancer may leave your body, but it never leaves your life." Or the infamous Stuart Scott quip, "You beat cancer by how you live, why you live, and the manner in which you live."

How many times have you been told, "But you look great!" The sentiment comes from the same place. They might as well be saying, "Aren't you done yet? Time to move forward and get on with your life."

The "Normies" need not understand this by default, nor should we expect congenital empathy to kick in because, for those who have not (unfortunately) walked the path, cancer is still perceived very much as a boogeyman death sentence. Everyone is Debra Winger in Terms of Endearment and not Samantha Jones in Sex and The City.

So, while there shouldn't have to be "more things" to think about when you're dealing with cancer, talking with your peer groups can be life-changing. Still, when it comes to the Internet, while it can be "hope for the best and expect the worst.", patients have a new sense of agency to own their decisions and define how they choose to get busy living with, through, and, ideally, beyond their diagnosis.

Cancer will always be the "gift that keeps on giving," and it is an unfair burden to assume to educate, desensitize, and demystify the masses.

We've got enough shit to deal with.