Hello, New Friends! (I'm Sorry 🤗)

Another *9,000* of you followed me on LinkedIn in the past month.

Either the algorithm broke, you have terrible judgment, or you’re here because Mark Cuban follows me now and apparently tolerates my affectionate trolling and maybe uses my posts as his morning rage fuel.

(Thanks, Mark. The check’s in the mail.)

Welcome. And my condolences. You’re stuck with me now.

Since you’re new, let me enrich Thanksgiving early with some context:

Quick bio for the newcomers: I survived brain cancer at 21 when treatment meant “pray harder.” Founded Stupid Cancer because young adults deserved better than pediatric coloring books and geriatric bingo. Built a movement before movements had hashtags. Now I host the Out of Patients podcast where I dissect American healthcare’s greatest hits. Like charging $800 for aspirin. Or denying chemo because you forgot to fax form 47B in triplicate.

I write. I speak. I keynote. I consult. I yell at Congress. I have a book coming next year (Wiley 2026) because sleep is overrated and my editor has blackmail photos.

Oh, and I’m a concert pianist. Actual Steinway, not YouTube tutorials (no offense to those talented musicians). That revelation usually breaks people’s brains.

Last week a CEO DMed me: “I wish I could say what you say.” She’s rationing insulin while teaching kids about the American Dream. You CAN say it. You just think politeness matters more than your pancreas.

It doesn’t.

The system counts on our silence. On our exhaustion. On our good manners while they cash the checks.

Not on my watch.

Fair warning: I post daily. Sometimes about dead patients. Sometimes about Mark Cuban’s math. Always before coffee.

So buckle up. Read the Substack. Listen to the pod. Share the posts that make your boss squirm.

Because if UnitedHealth ever dumps me in a Jersey ditch, I’m taking the flaming Steinway with me. And live-tweeting the whole thing.

Welcome to the revolution. We have snacks.