It's Finally All About Me
*Vulnerability Alert*
"If life were easy, we'd all do it." – Yogi Berra
But where's the fun in that?
Thanks to questionable genetics and decisions, I've dealt with obesity my entire life. What began in the 80s as a "quest for husky jeans at Sears" imprinted a chronic self-loathing and harrowing worthlessness.
Lacking any athletic skill yielded decades of bullying, shaming, and trauma, especially by all the jocks at Summer Camp, not to mention the Cretan-like neighborhood kids who enjoyed picking on me. (It wasn't until I found my tribe of band geeks that the pain subsided. But the damage was done.)
I've spent my life serving others, relentlessly seeking validation, and trying to prove myself, never believing I was good enough.
Helping others is a good addiction, but it took its toll on the one thing I sorely ignored: me. After all, "If you haven't got your health, you haven't got anything." – The Princess Bride (before the death machine)
I've never project-managed myself. All else came first because I lacked the worthiness to do so. Fear of rejection has plagued my every decision, and the quest for validation has been my Sisyphean Achilles tendon.
Until now.
A confluence of circumstances coalesced this May, triggering a long-overdue self-reflection and reprioritization.
1) A pic from the kids' B'Nai Mitzvah
2) Turning 49
3) Peaking work/life imbalance
4) My book deal selling to the Mayo Clinic
That last one was a real eye-opener.
My insecurities have been a disservice to my goals, and "rejection is protection" of those goals.
I was done serving at the altar of everything but me, which required the immediate shedding of all unnecessary albatrosses.
Four months later:
1) Working with a fitness coach, personal trainer, and certified nutritionist
2) Down six inches down in jeans and two sizes down in shirts
3) Zero addiction (or consumption) of sugar
4) Perfectly balanced relationship with food
5) Commitment to personal health and wellness
I have taken ownership of myself for the first time, and this is my life now and forever. While I will continue serving millions of people, I will serve myself and my family first.
Welcome to MZ v29 (or whatever iteration of myself I'm up to)